Barbara Walters: The Real Life Mary Richards?

abc_barbara_walters_thg_130128_wgI grew up idolizing both Barbara Walters and Mary Richards. I moved to a big city, became a journalist, and lived the better part of last decade as a single, independent, successful (if I do say so) career woman. I don’t think this is a coincidence. I think it’s the power of great role models.

Of course, one of them is real, and one is the fictional lead of The Mary Tyler Moore Show. But having written a whole book about that show, I often find myself wondering what Mary would be up to right now if she were real. The fun of the game is that my own imagination can choose whatever it wants, and what it chooses mirrors what I really want to be like in 10, 20, 30, or 40 years. As Barbara Walters announced her retirement this week, I knew: This was Mary’s retirement. This is exactly what she would be doing right now after a long, groundbreaking career. She’d be signing off her successful talk show, leaving it in the care of her hand-picked co-hosts.

What’s astounding about Walters’ career is that, between her and Mary, she’s the real one — and yet she also did everything Mary did, but years earlier. She came up through the secretarial pool behind the network news scenes, just like Mary, and eventually broke through the male-dominated newsroom, just like Mary did. She then became a writer and segment producer (like Mary) doing “women’s interest” segments on the Today show. Soon she was on the air, which I believe was only a matter of time for Ms. Richards. She scaled great heights from there, becoming the show’s first female co-host, then nightly news’ first female co-anchor on ABC.

I encountered Walters in the ’80s through her riveting interview specials with celebrities and heads of state alike. I fell in love with her ability to coax a story from anyone. I studied her tactics. You don’t ask people, “Why are you crazy?” you ask them, “What is your response to critics who say you’re a little eccentric?” Sometimes, you soften the blow they know is coming: “A lot of people are wondering about your divorce, of course, so I have to ask: What happened?” Other times you rip the band-aid off: “Did you sleep with the president, or not?” I use many of her tricks to this day (though I have never asked anyone what kind of tree he or she would like to be). She made me want to tell people’s stories, and doing emotional interviews became one of my specialties at Entertainment Weekly, which made me proud. I learned to make people comfortable, while still maintaining my journalistic integrity, by watching Walters.

I also learned that “female” doesn’t, and shouldn’t, mean “not serious.” Because she was a woman, but a pioneering one, she managed to mix traditionally “female” topics — celebrity, fashion, feelings — and “male” ones — politics, war. This eventually led to one of the most innovative shows on television — yeah, really — The View. For 16 years now, her daytime talk show has mixed co-hosts of various races, backgrounds, political affiliations, and ages to discuss everything from reality TV to presidential elections. It’s become a must-visit show for both starlets and political candidates. And the show has one unifying message: Women’s voices matter.

We’ll miss you, Barbara. Thanks for making the world safe for Mary Richards, me, and all the women like us.

‘Mary Tyler Moore Show’ Trivia: Tonight!

mary-tyler-moore-opening-creditsWhat was Mary’s relationship status in the pilot episode? Which character’s spinoff lasted the longest? What was Chuckles the Clown’s credo?

The answers to these questions could win you free copies of Mary and Lou and Rhoda and Ted, T-shirts, mugs, and even free subscriptions to Entertainment Weekly, if you join us for the book launch/trivia contest at 7 p.m. tonight at Pacific Standard in Brooklyn. Hope to see you there!

Win a Free Advance Copy of MARY AND LOU AND RHODA AND TED, Part 3

Today’s the last day I’ll be giving away advance copies of my book about The Mary Tyler Moore Show, MARY AND LOU AND RHODA AND TED (which is officially released May 7). All you have to do is be the first to answer the day’s trivia question (correctly) in the comments.

Today’s Question: Who was Ted’s idol? (Hint: He got to meet said idol in a 1974 episode.)

Lena Dunham on ‘The Mary Tyler Moore Show’

In this month’s Playboy (I know, the mind reels):

Playboy: From which TV character should Hannah take love and relationship advice?

Dunham: Mary Tyler Moore. Even though she’s perpetually single, she has a positive attitude about it and doesn’t psycho out on people. She believes she’s gonna make it after all. She’s a pretty good example of chipper, appropriate single-woman attitude.

‘The Mary Tyler Moore Show’: Handling Hot Topics, from Race to Coming Out


url-2The Mary Tyler Moore Show
didn’t shy away from controversial topics, though it didn’t tackle them with nearly the same frequency as its contemporary, All in the Family. It took a while for the producers to figure out exactly how to approach hot issues in a way that felt right for them — not like an All in the Family rip-off. Two key episodes illustrate the differences: One, called “Some of My Best Friends Are Rhoda,” hammered away a little too much at the central issue, Rhoda being excluded from a country club because she’s Jewish; the other nailed the issue of Phyllis’ gay brother beautifully, subtly, and very Mary Tyler Moore-ly.

“Some of My Best Friends Are Rhoda” does boast one of the best episode titles on a show with lots of great episode titles. (“Toulouse Lautrec Is One of My Favorite Artists,” about Mary dating a super-short guy? Yes!) But aside from that, the second-season episode ranked as one of the show’s worst. The producers themselves are the first to admit this. The half-hour guest-starred Mary Frann (later Dick Loudon’s beautiful wife on Newhart) as a new friend of Mary’s who belongs to the country club in question. All the plot did, though, was give Mary the chance to speechify against the ills of bigotry, then grandly dismiss Frann’s character from her life. “That was just not our MO,” creator-exec producer Allan Burns says. “There were maybe two or three times in the history of the show when we did something a little preachy, and it didn’t really work.”

A year later, however, they got gay rights right. The entire half-hour focuses on the growing relationship between Rhoda and Phyllis’ visiting brother, Ben. Phyllis worries the two will get married, and she’ll end up with her nemesis as her sister-in-law. Even the audience starts to think this could be it. Then in a beautifully played final scene, Rhoda disabuses Phyllis of this notion: “He’s not my type!” she says with a conviction that confuses all of us.

Phyllis: “What do you mean, not your type? He’s attractive. He’s successful. He’s single.”

Rhoda: “He’s gay.”

Phyllis: “I’m so relieved.”

Perhaps the writers approached the topic so subtly — and thus hilariously — because they didn’t set out to. The script originally called for the Rhoda-Ben liaison to worry Phyllis, but to be a heterosexual encounter. But guest star Bob Moore, who was playing Ben, was gay, so director Jay Sandrich and producers James L. Brooks and Allan Burns saw an opportunity to change things up.

It worked, with the humor coming from the characters, as well as the delivery. Harper insisted on delivering the “he’s gay” line with a shrug. “I think it should be factual,” she told Sandrich, “like he’s a priest or he’s married or he’s going to Tibet for ten years.”

It got one of the longest studio-audience laughs in the show’s history, and brought the idea of laughing at people’s reactions to gayness — rather than at gay people — to mainstream TV’s millions of viewers.

Sex and ‘The Mary Tyler Moore Show’: How Mary Stayed Out All Night and Went on the Pill

mary-tyler-moore-200a072108The Mary Tyler Moore Show is no Sex and the City. I see SATC as MTM’s natural cultural heir — along with Girls and 30 Rock all the young-woman-in-the-city shows now — but was surprised by how many of the former MTM writers I interviewed for my book hated SATC. They seem to prefer more traditional sitcom craft; they all cited Modern Family as their favorite current show.

But Mary Tyler Moore did break new ground when it came to young, single women’s sexuality. At first, the show treaded lightly in the dating arena, sending Mary on random, mostly comical dates good for plot — a short guy, her journalism class teacher. And the writers always knew their limits, despite the progressive sensibility of the times. “Mary Goes to the Playboy Mansion, I think, was an idea whose time had never come,” writer Treva Silverman told me. “‘Mary swims topless, as Hugh Hefner looks fondly on,’ was not going to happen.” Mary Richards herself delivered a rather famous statement on the issue: “I’m hardly innocent. I’ve been around. Well, maybe not around, but I’ve been nearby.”

Nearby got a little closer to around, however, by the third season. Mary stayed out all night on a date, returning home the next morning in the same dress, a subtle suggestion of overnight activity. Just a few weeks later, another sly reference: We learned Mary was on birth control when her mother called out to her father, “Don’t forget to take your pill!” And both Dad and daughter replied, “I won’t!”

The slight change in Mary’s onscreen admissions made big waves — so much so that a different show, Bea Arthur’s Maude, remarked upon it. “Look what happened on The Mary Tyler Moore Show recently,” Maude’s next-door-neighbor, Arthur (Conrad Bain), complained. “She went out on a date and she stayed out all night.”

Maude: “All night? Our little Mary?”

Arthur: “You can sneer all you want, Maude, but as Mary Tyler Moore goes, so goes America.”

Sex and the City and Girls may just prove his point.

‘The Mary Tyler Moore Show’: Is It the Greatest Sitcom of All Time?

themarytylermooreshow31506I would say yes, but that is because it reflects everything I like best in my sitcoms:

It has way more heart than Seinfeld.

It’s more realistic than I Love Lucy.

It’s more relatable than Arrested Development.

It’s more naturalistic than All in the Family, where the giant issues of the day descended upon the Bunker living room as if from above, to be debated (usually with yelling), and then dispensed with in 22 minutes. The Mary Tyler Moore Show‘s issues rarely felt forced: Of course Mary was on the pill. And Phyllis’ brother just happened to be gay.

Still, it’s more socially conscious than Friends or Cheers, more consistent than The Office or Roseanne, more groundbreaking than Dick Van Dyke, more engaging than Modern Family or Frasier.

It’s funnier and has much tighter plots than The Cosby Show. It inspired 30 Rock.

What do you guys think?

How Did ‘The Mary Tyler Moore Show’ Affect Your Life?

MTM.8-14As the release date for my book Mary and Lou and Rhoda and Ted gets closer (5/7/13), I’m gathering memories from fans about the show. Feel free to still tell me your favorite characters or episodes, as well as why you loved the show, but the question of the day is: How did The Mary Tyler Moore Show affect your life? Did it inspire you to go into journalism, or show you that being single was okay, or make you want to wear adorable business suits? Share in the comments below.

Why Did You Love the ‘Mary Tyler Moore Show’?

MTM.8-14As the release date for my book Mary and Lou and Rhoda and Ted gets closer (5/7/13), I’m gathering memories from fans about the show. Feel free to still tell me your favorite characters or episodes, but the question of the day is: Why did you love The Mary Tyler Moore Show? Share in the comments below.

What’s Your Favorite ‘Mary Tyler Moore Show’ Episode?

MTM.8-14I’m gathering fans’ memories from The Mary Tyler Moore Show as the release date (5/7/13) for my book, Mary and Lou and Rhoda and Ted, approaches. You can still tell me your favorite character, but my question of the day is: What’s your favorite episode, and why? Share in the comments below!