9ac0e9d772744fe2fe68e852ada4fb57Good news from the land of child stars, everyone! Not all of them grow up to lose their minds and become an incredibly depressing series of news stories and punchlines. Some of them grow up to be funny and smart and well-adjusted, and that’s exactly why you don’t hear about them anymore.

That is, until they write an awesome piece for Cracked.com explaining why child stars go crazy. Mara Wilson, now in her 20s but formerly the star of Matilda and Mrs. Doubtfire, did just that in a post today. Please go read the whole thing, but I’ll share my favorite part here:

If I were to talk to Lindsay Lohan, I’d encourage her to get the hell out of acting and into something soothing. Take up botany or something.

But she wouldn’t be likely to listen to me — and not only because I’m younger and way less hot than her. It’s because she’s been acting all her life, she has little education, and in her mind, there’s nothing else she could do. She’s likely to keep doing it even if she’s making herself — and maybe also the people she works with — miserable.

Nothing would please me more than to see the botany program at UCLA swell with incoming freshmen named Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, Amanda Bynes, and Justin Bieber. People, don’t let your kids be child stars. Tell them to write a play and perform it in the garage, or go in their rooms with the cheap little guitar you just bought them, and then they can become stars when they’re adults if it still seems like a good idea. They’ll only get more talented — and grounded — in the meantime.

Another smart one: Dylan Sprouse, formerly Zack or Cody on Disney’s The Suite Life of Zack & Cody: